from Master Nyx

I know what you are thinking...and I am wearing pants. The only question is how the ferret got in there. Ok, on to other matters. I am creating this page as a forum for free thinkers to publish mind-bending manifestos to twist the world. If you think you have what it takes to form a coherent opinion, and there are a suprising few, send my your thoughts in e-mail and I'll post them for the whole world to see. The public will respond, and I will editorialize. All will be grand. So write to [email protected] and you may be the next unheard of journalist that goes on to die from alcoholism. Long live the freedom of Idiocy.

Now, what to do with my first editorial. Obviously, since this is new, no one has submitted anything. So I will write on something I know about. Lack of the common sense God gave the common gopher.

I do retarded things almost daily. We all do. The question is whether or not we realize the retardedness when we create it. In the immortal words of my hero, Chick McGee, "There is a big difference between stepping on your dick, and standing on your dick." This, for the unenlightened, means that everyone makes mistakes, but is takes a special kind of dumbass to continue making the same ones over and over. If you do make a mistake, learn from your it, apologize to those that deserve it and don't do it again. Simple as that.

Why can't we get it through our thick heads that there are just some things we shouldn't go near. It like having to deal with a 3 year old that is just sure that the hot oven is a fun new toy. We have to shepherd the dim through the Valley of Dorkness and I am tired of it. If someone is going to fail then let them fail and learn. If they don't I guess Darwin was right. The slow zebras need to be weeded out of the breeding pool. Otherwise the lions may get us all.

I am not saying that we shouldn't help those that make mistakes. We should just make sure that they have learned something before we pat them on the back and tell them it's going to be ok. There are so many idiots out there that some of you reading this out loud may in fact be idiots and not even know it. All I can really say is this: If something seems dumb, chances are it is. If you think that you are getting ready to make a spectacle of yourself, don't do it. Hold back. Sometimes taking a second thought ( or in some cases a first thought ) prevents everyone from having to deal with your stupidity.

If you are offended by my remarks, then you are probably stupid too. All I ask is that we think before we act, and maybe- just maybe, actually leave a world our offspring will want to live in.

What do you think? If you have any comments, ideas, or you want to contribute write to me at [email protected]. Tell me who you are and what you think. I promise I won't bite...unless it turns you on. RrrRrowwRrow.

-What are your future plans for this page?

Well, for your information, you nosy bastard, I intend to do as much with it and my meager mind as possible. I intend to turn it into a first-class roundtable for the ideas that we all have, but never really express.

-Will writers who submit anything get paid?

I have no money to share with the creative, but I will put their names and e-mail addresses up, if they allow, and make sure the public knows what kind of weirdos we have out there.

-Is there anything else we need to know right now?

I'm glad you asked. I am on a tour trying to promote myself for World Leader. I know that the job is tough, but I am a man of the people. When you say jump I will make sure somebody jumps. When you say kill I will find a suitable target and kill. All you have to do to join my campaign is sign over a tenth of your soul. That's it. I think it's time for a new world order, and I am your man for the job.

Send me an email.